Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My liver is preforming stress tests.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
