I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
