So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
