i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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