I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
