A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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