We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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