I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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