Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
