i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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