I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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