His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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