clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you made out with another girl for some wings
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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