Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
