stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My feet surprised me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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