And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have aggressive nipples.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
