There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
