The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
