I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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