she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
