belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
