i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
