I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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