yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize