I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
