$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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