You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
