thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
