Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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