Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
