you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
