Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
