Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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