i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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