Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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