Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
