so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
