i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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