marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
