I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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