Three words: puerto rican gang bang
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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