just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
