in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
