So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
