I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
