i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
