He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
