I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
