But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
