Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
