We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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