Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
