I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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