to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Randomize
