grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize