I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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