did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
