remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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