Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? đđ
My EXâs roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I get sad thinking about all the sex Iâm missing out on because of the virus
I instituted âquarantine and chillâ months ago. Itâs not like penises go soft just because theyâre working at home.
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