He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
