All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
