I can text with my tongue
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
