On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize